After all the excitement and interest on What Do Integral Women Want? we thought it would be fun to complement that piece and give our Integral Dudes voice to discuss, What Do Integral Men Want? We received many inquiries and narrowed it down to a few choice replies.
Here’s our second Integral Dude, Sungwon Peter Choe, writing in from Daejeon, Korea…
The Integral Chicks have written on what Integral Women want: men who can understand their depth and span, who are open and sensitive to the moment, who understand their desire for connection over conclusion, who are honest and bold. With 99% of the male population shaking in their boots at such a tall order, it’s up to Integral Men to take on this daunting challenge. YES! I am INTEGRAL MAN! Here me RAWWWR in ALL FOUR QUADRANTS! But are we really that much more brave and capable? Probably not; but since we expect even more from our women, we have no choice but to step up. So what does an Integral Man want?
5. Defined Expectations
Love is boundless, yes, but is this exclusive, a fling, an open relationship? Do you feel most loved with words or actions, thoughtful gifts or soft kisses? And yes, Integral Men can go with the flow with the feminine-est of them, but where is this relationship flowing? We’re both responsible for differing undercurrents of expectation. Let’s be clear about what these undercurrents are. We want a relationship based more on the push and pull of feminine and masculine, rather than the push and pull of shadows. Discovering and expressing what each of us wants will bring to light those shadow currents, allowing honesty and integrity to thrive.
4. The Embrace of the Feminine
You may have a healthy masculine, but when we’re together I want most to feel your full feminine vibrant and radiant. I desire the warm, unconditional embrace of the feminine, loving both my strengths and weaknesses. Indeed, I feel completely a man when leading a gorgeous, radiant woman all done up shining in makeup and heels on my arm (if I’m leading us the wrong way, please discreetly point me in the right direction, thanks!). At the same time, I want you to know that my feminine embrace is here for you as well. I’ll even put on heels and make-up, too, if it’ll make you smile!
3. Time and Space for the Masculine
My masculine craves accomplishment. I want to pursue goals and solve problems, become smarter, stronger, faster, more integral! I want a woman who will support me in work I am passionate about. Often this may take the form of simply giving me the space to grow in my own endeavors. This means, however, that I want also for you to whip out your masculine, and accomplish inspiring feats of your own work and art. When we are together again, let’s return to playing our respective romantic roles, the enfolding unfolding dance of masculine and feminine.
2. Loving Company on the Path
An integral part of an Integral Man’s life is his spiritual practice. I want a woman who is also on the path, who can fully understand and can share in my spiritual practice. I’ve also been really wanting to fully explore these Tantric and Taoist sexual practices, maybe you can, you know, help me sort out if this desire is coming from more of a sexual or spiritual place… no… yeah…. right there, that feels spiritual, mmm yeah, definitely spiritual!
1. An Integral Woman
An Integral Man loves and appreciates all kinds of women, but he longs to be with an Integral Woman. What other kind of woman can fully own both her feminine and masculine, honestly look at and speak on the flow of the relationship, cultivate her radiance and engage in practice together on the path? Integral Woman, I give you my RAWWWR!
Sungwon Peter Choe
Sungwon Peter Choe is a PhD candidate in Computer Science in Daejeon, Korea, where he studies meditation and Gicheon (a traditional martial art) under Master Cho. He also plays bass in the Seoul-based progressive metal band Awake at Dusk.
